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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24851020">3 AM</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quinnoid/pseuds/Quinnoid'>Quinnoid</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, I'm so sorry Azu, Implied/Referenced Suicidal Thoughts, Nightmares, Other, Post-Canon, lovepotion is the best ship name ever, therapist!Cel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:08:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,444</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24851020</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quinnoid/pseuds/Quinnoid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Fluffy moments between Azu and Cel.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Azu/Celiquilliton "Cel" Sidebottom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Too Much to Do, Too Little Time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Azu carries Cel to bed.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Cel.” Azu stepped into their lab, wrinkling her nose at the acrid smell of something burning. “It’s three in the morning, love. Come to bed.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Huh?” Cel looked up at Azu, who stood sleepily in the doorway. “But I’m so close, and I’m not tired! I just need to try a couple more things. There’s this compound I don’t recognize that’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>interesting, and I’ve been trying to isolate it. I think it’s explosive!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Azu sighed. Their hands were trembling and the dark bags under their eyes betrayed them. “How much coffee have you had?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Erm..” Cel flushed, absentmindedly fiddling with a vial of a purple, bubbling liquid. “A lot.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Azu walked up to them, gently taking the vial and grabbing their hands. “You’re shaking, Cel. Come to bed. You can figure it out tomorrow.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I..” Cel sagged. “Okay. Let me just..”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They yawned and Azu watched as their eyes drifted shut and they started to slump. She chuckled and scooped them up, startling them awake again. They wrapped their legs around her hips and arms around her neck, instantly cuddling into her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hold on, gotta..” Cel trailed off into a snore, and Azu rolled her eyes. She looked over the various pieces of equipment, but aside from a small fire, saw nothing too dangerous to leave overnight. She quickly doused the flame and walked them up the stairs to their bedroom. She gently tucked them under the covers and kissed their forehead. Their eyes fluttered open for just a moment, meeting her gaze vacantly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Go to sleep, love,” She whispered, climbing into bed and wrapping her arms around their waist. They snuggled back into her chest, mumbling incoherently. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>~~***~~</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cel woke up slowly. The warmth of the sun and being wrapped up in Azu’s arms was intoxicating, and moving seemed positively criminal. They cracked one eye open to see their girlfriend </span>
  <em>
    <span>(their girlfriend!)</span>
  </em>
  <span> reading some sticky human novel. She was sitting up, with Cel tucked comfortably into her side.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Morning,” Cel murmured, stretching their limbs out before flopping back onto Azu. She smiled down at them as she set her book down, shaking her head. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s the middle of the afternoon, love.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait, what?” Cel shot up. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, Jasper made sure everything was taken care of at the shop. And your lab.” Cel sighed in relief, then yawned. Azu frowned. “When was the last time you slept?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cel gave her a cheeky grin. “Just now?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Cel</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Azu glowered, but she was incapable of sounding truly threatening. Cel leaned over and kissed her on the cheek before curling back up, tangling their long legs into hers.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve been busy.” Cel yawned again. “Lots of potions to make, lots of experiments to run, and not enough hours in the day.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You need to take care of yourself.” She ran her fingers through Cel’s hair. “Please? These things can wait sometimes.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah..” Cel leaned into the touch. “I know. Thanks for helping me when I forget. You’re kind of amazing.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Azu snorted. “Well, I try. Go back to sleep, love. I’ll be here when you wake up.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Guilty</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alex is so mean to Azu (but we respect his craft) and I needed to give her some closure.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CW for implication of suicidal thoughts at the end of the chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Indefinite time skip</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cel woke up, sleep-dazed and confused in the middle of the night. Something was wrong. Slowly, they became aware of a muffled, rhythmic thumping coming from outside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Az,” Cel mumbled. “Az, wake up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was no answer. Cel sat up suddenly when they noticed her half of the bed was empty. “Azu?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They frowned as realization dawned on them and eased out of bed. Quietly, they made their way to the small courtyard where Azu was standing over a disintegrated pile of firewood, soaked in sweat and shoulders heaving with every breath. She swung her axe again and it slammed into the wood with a heavy </span>
  <em>
    <span>thunk</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Splinters flew everywhere.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Cel called out. Azu paused for a moment, then heaved the axe down again. Cel was torn between giving her space and wanting to comfort her. On the one hand, giving her the space to work out her frustrations would probably lead to a calmer conversation later. But if they didn’t comfort her now, she might stay upset longer. Decisions, decisions. There was a loud crunch and a squeal as the axe tore through the stone chopping block and was ripped out again, making their choice simple. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Az,” They said, taking a step closer. “I’m coming up behind you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She buried the axe into the stone again, then froze, staring at it. They could see her confliction in the way her muscles twitched, the way her body was poised, ready to hoist the axe up again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s up?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry for waking you.” Azu said, voice low and rough. She didn’t look at them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sleep’s for the weak. Azu what’s wrong?” Cel moved to stand in front of her, grabbing her hands, but Azu still avoided their gaze, staring off at some distant point. Her nostrils flared, a little tell they’d noticed long ago when she was working to close herself off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s nothing. I’m fine.” She straightened herself up with a shake of her head and stared them down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, you aren’t. Talk to me.” Cel reached up to cup Azu's cheek gently. "C'mon Az."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The orc sighed. "I can't."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I.. Okay," Cel murmured, leaning up on their toes to give her a kiss. “Let’s go get a bath at least. And some tea. I’ll see if Jaz can get some made. Alright?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Azu nodded, seeming to shrink in on herself. They gave her a gentle, albeit awkward, smile and led her back inside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~~***~~ </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Time began to blur for Azu. One moment, they were leading her up the small staircase to the front door of the shop, and the next she was sitting in a bath, Cel hovering nearby with a nervous energy about them. They were fidgeting with just about everything they could get their hands on, and babbling about some new potion they were working on. She was glad for the distraction, but their restlessness was beginning to rub off on her already frayed nerves.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Love.” She sighed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes? What do you need?” The anxious drumroll halted as they turned all of their attention to her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come here,” Azu patted the water in front of her, smiling slightly up at them. “You are starting to drive me a bit insane.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, sorry!” They squeaked, quickly slipping out of their shorts and into the water. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright,” Azu murmured as they settled in front of her, back to chest. She wrapped her arms around them and buried her face in their hair. “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cel leaned into her and began humming. Azu recognized the song from a story they’d told her long ago. Despite her reluctance, she began to doze off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~~***~~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cel woke with a start.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Azu moaned. “No, please. Grizz.. Sash.. Cel!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, hey, Az, wake up!” Cel swiveled around as Azu snapped awake, tears already forming. She lunged forward, pulling them into a tight hug. “Hey, shhh, it’s okay. I’m here. It’s okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s all my fault!” Azu sobbed. “I let go! I let you go, I..”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No it isn’t. You didn't. I'm right here. Right here.” They rubbed her back soothingly. “It’s alright Az. Just let it out.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Cel started humming their lullaby again, swaying slightly to the beat. A while passed before Azu was calm again. The sun was barely beginning to peek over the horizon, illuminating the bathroom just enough for them to see by. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Azu,” They whispered. “Please, talk to me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And she did. They sat quietly as she reminded them of the horrible fate of her old friends, the part she thought she played, and the guilt that ate at her for weeks afterwards, with none of her friends the wiser. They hugged her tightly when she whispered that desperate wish for release, the one they pulled her away from. They held her while she cried, spent from the exhaustion of holding everything in again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright to hurt and be sad. But please don’t hold this in. You don’t have to push it all away anymore. You’re allowed to feel.” Cel kissed her, years of practice keeping them from getting stabbed by her tusk. “I know it hurts, babe. And I know that sometimes you care so much it gets hard to put it all in boxes and organize. I’ll help you though. Just, just let me know. Whatever you need.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Azu kissed them back, hard and urgent, tangling her fingers in their hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will. Thank you, love.” Azu murmured. “Now what do you say about going to sleep?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That sounds amazing. I’ll let Jaz know we’re going to be late today.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm so sorry Azu. She needs all the hugs and kisses and love.</p><p>Cel's song is Elven Lullaby by Matthew Carl Earl.</p><p>As always, requests are welcome! Let me know here or @half-elf-alchemist on tumblr.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ch. 2 incoming once I get some actual sleep and probably after work.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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